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Hurt People Hurt People


I recently heard this familiar phrase. It was one that I have heard before, but it had been some time. When I heard it, I nodded my head in agreement as I processed all that this meant. People who get hurt, for any number of reasons, are inclined to then go and hurt someone else. If you say or do something that causes another person to hurt, then there is a high probability - according to this saying - that they are going to go and do the same to someone else. 

The more I thought about this phrase over the course of the week, the more I came to realize how it has no place inside the Kingdom mindset or in the life of a Christian. It is certainly true that all of us are subject to being hurt at times in our lives. This hurt comes through the insensitivity of others, through the direct persecution of others, and it often comes through the actions of others that were never meant to harm at all. In some cases, perhaps, the actions of others were meant to help - either your situation or another. Yet, hurt is the result of these actions. 

Recently, our youngest son had an accident that resulted in the breaking of his arm - both the radius and the ulna. It was a pretty good break, and the moment his mother and I saw it, we knew instantly what had happened. Yeah, it was one of those.

His injury occurred while he was playing - okay, rough-housing - with his brothers. This kind of activity is not unusual when you have three boys that are within seven years age of one another. There is a good deal of rough-housing in our home. But the injury was caused by another of the brothers. It was an accident, but it was a preventable accident.

That night, as my youngest was in the hospital and being questioned over and over again by doctors and nurses about the accident, finally one of the nurses said to him, "So, your brother did this to you?" And my son, who has one of the sweetest hearts and genuine spirits said, "Yes, but I forgive him."

It would have been easy for him to exclaim, "Yes, he did this! I am going to get him back!" Or, perhaps, he could wait 6-8 weeks until his arm has healed and then he could attack another sibling or even worse, seek revenge on his brother who caused the break in the first place. But, instead, he chose to forgive.

In fact, when asked what color he wanted his cast to be, he told the nurse he wanted purple because that was his brother's favorite color and he wanted him to not feel so bad about what had happened. 

Wow! If only we who claim to be mature and steeped in our walk with Jesus could do the same!

Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15 that if we fail to forgive others, then we are rejecting the forgiveness that God is giving to us. When we don't forgive, we are not forgiven. What a statement from Jesus on the topic of forgiveness. I wonder if we fully consider the implications of what Jesus is saying here, because if our response to being hurt is to hurt another, then we are missing Jesus' point entirely. 

I know that when I heard my son's words, my heart was touched. I realized that he was modeling for me the work of forgiveness, even if he doesn't fully understand the grander picture from the perspective of our salvation through Jesus Christ. We are saved to a greater way of living. We are saved to live out the holy love of God. 

Hurt people do hurt people,  unless hurt people learn to give their hurt to Jesus so that they can, in turn, love people. Even those who have hurt them. May it be so.


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